I've had this idea of a blog rolling around in my brain for a few months now and it still wont come out right., yet somehow with my dear sweet husband asleep on the couch and crickets chirping outside. The noisy quiet of night and a cool late summer/early autumn breeze blowing through I figured I'd try.
If you read my other blog you will have seen that I took a much unexpected and God ordained trip to to a lovely little town just outside of Toronto this summer. I wont recount what it meant to me here...but I will share a little more of the work God began there that I think He is still working on today.
I don't think I even noticed that He was working on a blessing beyond the obvious of forging a flesh and blood friendship with my dear sisters of the heart, until I boarded the plane that would bring me back to The States. I don't think I even saw the threads of it fully then, I just knew that something in my spirit changed in those four short days. That it was bigger than me. Bigger than my beloved friends.
I think, just maybe, it was a healing that was started. And it started in the strangest way...with a bucket of silent tears shed from a goodbye.
I have blogged about changes and hurts in the last few years that have left me feeling pretty battered and raw. I have blogged through my struggles with altered or changed relationships. I have silently carried some wounds for others that I really couldn't blog about. I have mourned outloud and in silent...and I think, stepping on that plane, sitting in my seat waiting to be delivered home into the arms of my very best friend, my husband, God reached out and took hold of my heart and assured me He noticed. Reminded me that He was about the work of healing, and that my time of rejoicing was on the horizon.
It has bafled me at times that the struggles of the last few years have, at times, seemed more to bear than the death of my sweet Eden...but I think that, somehow, it makes sense. This is more of that journey of faith. To see God when I want to just see suffering. To worship at His merciful feet simply because He is God...and through the surrender of my desires and of my pain and hurts...His blessings flow even sweeter.
I haven't loved every step of this journey but I belive in my heart of hearts that I carry blessings I might never have even seen without it.
If you read my other blog you will have seen that I took a much unexpected and God ordained trip to to a lovely little town just outside of Toronto this summer. I wont recount what it meant to me here...but I will share a little more of the work God began there that I think He is still working on today.
I don't think I even noticed that He was working on a blessing beyond the obvious of forging a flesh and blood friendship with my dear sisters of the heart, until I boarded the plane that would bring me back to The States. I don't think I even saw the threads of it fully then, I just knew that something in my spirit changed in those four short days. That it was bigger than me. Bigger than my beloved friends.
I think, just maybe, it was a healing that was started. And it started in the strangest way...with a bucket of silent tears shed from a goodbye.
I have blogged about changes and hurts in the last few years that have left me feeling pretty battered and raw. I have blogged through my struggles with altered or changed relationships. I have silently carried some wounds for others that I really couldn't blog about. I have mourned outloud and in silent...and I think, stepping on that plane, sitting in my seat waiting to be delivered home into the arms of my very best friend, my husband, God reached out and took hold of my heart and assured me He noticed. Reminded me that He was about the work of healing, and that my time of rejoicing was on the horizon.
It has bafled me at times that the struggles of the last few years have, at times, seemed more to bear than the death of my sweet Eden...but I think that, somehow, it makes sense. This is more of that journey of faith. To see God when I want to just see suffering. To worship at His merciful feet simply because He is God...and through the surrender of my desires and of my pain and hurts...His blessings flow even sweeter.
I haven't loved every step of this journey but I belive in my heart of hearts that I carry blessings I might never have even seen without it.
