When you make the decision to follow where God leads when it comes to having a full time stay at home parent, thus one income, and three small children the idea that there will be sacrifices is built right in. Knowing that at times money will be tight and there may not be exciting things like laptops and ipods is kind of a given...though when we chose to walk this path ipods and laptops didn't yet exist. The point is still the same.

What you don't really see is that there might not be enough extra for things like little league or ballet.

I'll be honest, this has been a real struggle for me in the last year or so. The ide that, somehow, I was doing a disservice to my kids by raising them in a one income home. I have learned to bake my own bread, clip coupons, and do with out but still find that life keeps moving forward and debts still loom, and that little bit never really materializes.

So my kids are fed, and warm...but still they don't have the classes that it seems "every" other kid has.

My amazing husband reminds me that we are giving them something different, that we are giving them a mom at home. We are giving them examples of a real relationship with God, we are giving them an apreciation of the little things.

Now, Christmas is near and the "I wants" have surfaced and my knoledge of the budget have krept in to make me just a little sad...until today...when I saw my kids, my family, and my life through the eyes of someone else. Through a friend who knows us all in a very special way...

I thought about a thankfulness post on Thanksgiving day, because there are so many people and things, and experiences I am thankful for. Even the people, things, experiences that have hurt and left permanent marks on my soul.

I make a choice everyday to serve and love God when my circumstances seem bleak, because I want God to be made strong in my weaknesses... I think weaknesses make God excited to really show off His strength and glory.

I feel like the biggest thing I have learned over this past year is that my relationship with God isn't about what He can do for me, but what He can do with me.

And for knowing that on a level that has made it part of who I am, I am grateful the most.

I am also filled with thankfulness as this holiday season kicks into full swing. I look forward to this season with much the same excitement as my three children, the youngest needs merely see a Christmas ball in the package and a smile breaks across his face.

The decorations are late in getting up this year as we were all sick in the days leading up to Thanksgiving, and now my husband is struck with a lovely case of food poisoning.

But I know in the weeks to come as we pull out the tree, and dust off the ornaments... place each Nativity in the bookcases and on the furniture that there will be a deeper joy that fills my heart. A joy for my savior and how He works in ways I can not see.