I'm not sure why the words are stuck. Why they won't flow.

I keep starting this post and then erasing it, starting a new thought, erasing it again...

I think the truth of it is that this post is about my oldest daughter, about to turn twelve in just a few short hours. And that in everyday life I start, erase, change gears with her over and over again.

She makes me laugh so hard I am almost crying, pushes me to the point of frustration so I want to start crying, and then makes my heart fill with such love that I often *do* start crying...usually in the space of 14 minutes...or all at once.

There is no other young lady, because that's what she is...a longer a little girl, who is so complex and who runs so deep as that sweet one.

I have never met an adult, I don't think, with the vast depth and hunger for meaning as her. Who wants to love God so much that it almost overwhelms her. Who thinks, ponders, and holds on to every word poured out on her.

Who wants to nurture and love children so much that her idea of a good time can easily be a sleepover with the 5 year old from school who loves to chase after her.

I can not fathom our time is so short that I get to call her mine and not release her to the world. Yet I am eager to see where God is leading her and the great things she will do to serve Him.

Happy Birthday Phoebelicious...I hope that you know just how much I love, adore, and respect you. Don't grow up too fast, ok?