I haven't been tagged in a blog in ages...I almost missed it when my friend Denise tagged me on hers. I was reading along and sort of skimmerd her tagged people and noticed a familiar name.

So here goes, 10 honest things about me:

1. I have been married to my husband for nearly half of my life. We met when I was just 17 and were married when I was just 18. Everyone thought we were crazy...truthfully I think we knew we were crazy. We also knew that this was where God was leading us and that it was 100% His plan.

2. On the same subject, there were only a handful of people who expressed a genuine concern for us and seriously questioned our motives and commitment. Those people all were acting out of a real concern for us, and even then, I cherished it. The people who were questioning us helped us clarify and know this was God's plan. I also know those people prayed for us and will reap benefits for all of their commitment to us.

3. I will be 35 years old in just over a month and the idea that I could be 35 is thoroughly amusing to me. I just always thought of 35 as a "real grown-up" and still don't see myself as that age, but I embrace it fully. Every time I catch a few of my grey hairs in the mirror I smile because they mean something to me. I feel like getting older is a gift given from God.

4. One of my big regrets is that I stopped singing. I am, by no means, a "singer" but I can hold a tune decently and I really, really love it. I had one person say something that wasn't even that critical, it was actually meant to be sweet, and I let that just burrow in and make me think I should stop. Even worse than being unfair to myself, it was unfair to the person who said it, to put that on them.

5. I also love to act. As a grown-up who didn't choose that as a career I never find a place to do it. I plan on changing that soon.

6. Every time I watch a national cooking championship or a detailed cooking show I convince myself I could do the same or better. I have aspirations to enter a cooking championship someday.

7. While everyone who knows me knows I love Jesus, very few people know how much I actually love church. I love to study and find out more about the person of Christ, but just as deeply I love being in the physical building of my church. It's not fancy, it's just home. It's deeply tied to who I am and when things feel "off" there, every part of me hurts because it is my family and my home.

8. I'm a firebug. Well, not really but I LOVE fire. I love to light candles and I love to watch a fireplace crackle. There is something almost hypnotic about it and I start to feel peaceful when the flames are flickering.

9. I don't know my right from my left. I just have a mental block on it. About 6 years ago someone taught me the trick where your pointer finger and thumb make an "L" on your left hand and it made my day because it made figuring it all out so much quicker. It's also so much easier to fake knowledge now.

10. I am terrified of open water, yet I love water! I even start to feel like I can't breathe watching movies with open water in them. I have always been kind of freaked out being in the ocean, but it is still worth it enough to swim in it.

So there ya go, 10 honest things.

I am supposed to tag some more people but can't think of anyone to if you are reading this...consider yourself tagged.
When everyone was posting glorious New Year posts I kept telling myself I'd wait until I really had time to reflect and write...that time never came..until now.

While I find so much comfort and peace, sitting at my desk writing and listening to God speak, I am realizing it get's harder and harder to make the time with so many people and things vying for my attention all the time. If I had a laptop I steal off to Starbucks to write, but laptop for me, so I steal the moments when they come.

Tonight I am making the moment a priority.

I have been going through a lot of inner changes and growth over the last several months, brought on by a lot of upheaval in the past few years. It took a good many months to get to a place where I was able to find enough of a foothold to finally start standing just a bit more steadily in the midst of it all.

With God as sherherd and good friends by my side, I finally feel righted again. Not perfect. Not fully healed...but ready to stand a little more steady and to keep standing.

Will I still stumble and have bad days? I'm sure. Do I feel far better equiped to face them? you bet.

One of the things I have set out to challenge myself with, and to be honest I think God has put it in my heart and mind, is something called The Day Zero Project. In short a personal (and now very public) challenge to come up with a list of 101 things to achieve in just 1001 days.

The first time I heard about it the idea sounded interesting but I dismissed it out of hand. I'd never accomplish 101 things about me. How sad. The very idea of having 101 dreams and goals felt beyond me.

Wouldn't you know though, the list kept coming up. I kept hearing about it and I kept thinking about it. I casually laughed it off as impossible for myself in discussion with a friend..."I'll never even get around to starting a list" hahaha. She just said "Nope, with that attitude you never will."

It stung.

That was the message God had been trying to get through. This was not the first time I heard it. It was hard to hear every time. I never imagined myself as someone who could dream, turns out I can dream impossible things for everyone else and I can expect God to move on their behalf...but when it comes to my dreams...I can't even figure out what they are most of the time.

In my bible study through the book of Luke these last few months I have been moved to tears several times over the relational person that God is. That when Jesus walked on this earth it was realtional and personal. He took great care in caring for the whole person...dreams and all.

So here I was with a blank page and the idea of 101 seemed so big. It still does really. I also wanted to try to hear God. I didn't want a whole list devoted to getting and doing...but to being more like Jesus and more aware of who He made me to be. I want my list to glorify him first, while fulfilling something in me.

So, I haven't officially started my Day Zero because my list isn't even halfway done. I'm close and just looking at it makes me love God even more, knowing he has put dreams in my heart and given me this amazing chance to find them.
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