It seems like every blog on the planet has had a New Year's post up this past week, and I guess this one is no exception...although, to be honest, the new year seems like it was *ages* ago.

I'm sure I've talked before about how I don't really *do* resolutions, but this year feels so different.

There are probably about 8 million reasons why...new creative ventures, son in high school, heading into my "late thirties"...but I think the main reason is because I can see one season in my life is coming to a close...the door is swinging shut on this job of mine and it isn't going to reopen.

I am mostly okay with that, but it leaves me feeling a little afraid and wondering how it will all go now. Who I will be and where I will walk now.

Today, I snuggled a fresh and new baby in my arms and she smiled a big baby grin at me and it reminded me, again, that that season of holding my *own* fresh new babies is over. It's gone....and Zoe is growing and changing so much every day, that soon the crib will come down, and it won't go in the garage...it will go away. With the strollers. With the bouncy seats. Even the diapers...soon they will all be parts of stories about "When mine were small...." The small is fading so fast.

And I *love* watching my kids grow. Seeing the maturity in my eldest, the depth of my first girl, the sensitivity of my baby boy and the bucket of sass in Zoe...but with every step, a part of who I was is left behind and I move beyond into something new...that I haven't known for the last 15 years.

So this year I am looking at becoming something else, reviving a different me...it's exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time.

I'm trying to take better care of myself, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

This January is a new beginning.

I imagine it will be messy, and difficult at times, but I also know I will laugh, I will grow, and I will be blessed so I am kind of anxious to get on with it.