Every year when the weather starts to turn colder and we start to get intermittent rain showers my mind wanders back to a time when too young kids were falling in love and begining the adventure that would change their lives forever.

In the midst of homeschooling the kids, changing diapers, and watching my husband do the job of ten men...I remember what it was to jump in his car on Saturdays and head off to any number of random places...cinnamon flavored 7-11 coffee in hand.

When I look out the kitchen window and can scarcely see the house in front of me, I think of what it was like to wake up to love letters, damp with dew, left on my car's windshield...or flowers strewn in my car after school.

As we busily plan for the holiday season my mind wanders over our first Christmas spent with friends, laughing over silly gifts and rejoicing at the life we hoped to create together.

Each hazy fall day that we hurdle in front of the heater I can still remeber the chill in my bones from rainy walks outdoors.

I am grateful for every fall day I have spent in the last 16 years, sharing the joy with my very best friend and husband, who has been my constant source of God's love and strength here on this earth.

As a kid, I remember, every time I felt sick or emotional my mom would tell me to "take a hot shower". Somehow the shower was supposed to be a magic curative for any and all things.

Still, I took all those showers, and often I did feel better after the near scalding water soothed my tired muscles and teen girl emotions.

I wonder if that is why I still relish my beloved evening showers? So hot I am usualy several shades of red and thirsting for a glass of water when they are over.

With the three of my kids homeschooling I don't really have a lot of "me time" or even a small amount of quiet most days. In the shower I do though. More often than not I still get interrupted by some Lego or remote control ownership crisis, but still, a majority of those steam filled minutes are my very own. I unwind from the day and let my mind drift. I can talk to God or plan a grocery, writing it on the steamed up shower door. I can have the fights I'll never have in reality. I can day dream about what Eden might be doing now. I can cry loud and bitter tears.

In the shower I escape to a place that is wholly my own. It is the best therapy I have ever had...and the best medicine. Who knew my mom was right all those years?

When it comes to things to be grateful for I have no shortage...God, family, friends, food, shelter, hope, peace... That's a whole week right there.

Today I was reminded in so many ways of the good and amazing friends I have, and how they come along in their own unique ways and add so much to my life. The lives of my family. How they add strength, support, encouragement, laughter, and joy to my life.

I mentioned the car yesterday. I have a newish van, just a hair over 3 years old. I love it so much it surprises me. It's the only real luxury we have...and it's not even top of the line.

Yesterday with the whole family in tow I turned the key in a Smart and Final parkinglot and got...nothing. Well, not nothing...clicks. Dead battery. We were so not prepared for that expense or the detour of the day. My dad came and gave my car a jump and off we went to Sears to replace the battery...what should have taken 20 minutes somehow took over an hour and we were out a nice chunk of change but on our way to fax some letters at a friends.

After being inside for 15 minutes I turned the key again to head home and this time there really was nothing. No click...just dead.

Another jump and we made it home with the burden of a very big bill facing us the next day since the warranty on our van had just barely expired.

There was so much to be grateful for in that whole expirience though...a wonderful husband with whom I laughed and chatted in some rare stolen moments, friends willing to and able to help get us home safe, peace in knowing it would be a finacial hit but wouldn't break us...

So on to today and why I chose to highlight good friends.

I never had to wonder today if I'd be able to juggle the kids and the car. I knew I had somene willing to jump in and save me, even if that someone wasn't thrilled about babysitting I knew their love for me and my family would be enough. I didn't have to struggle for words to say or the strength to say them when I arived at the dealership to make a case for warranty coverage... I had friends at home offering up prayers for me and the voice of another in my ears who had walked me through the right words.

I had encouraging texts and messages reminding me that God himself was in control.

Who isn't blessed by a network like that?

Later in the day when all was well, when the many hundreds of dollars of repairs I anticipated were nothing more than a tiny and free piece of metal, I even had people to rejoice with, pehaps the best gift of all.

Remember when I said that I get sick everytime I do a "month of blogging"? Well, after last months epic Blogtober fail, I was really excited to spend the month of November focusing on gratitude and my many blessings. I debated posting last night for my 1st day's entry...yet decided that would be a tease.

Cut to today. Still no illness but the great curse strikes again as several hundred dollars of car repair and several hours of lost time eats most of my excitement for today's post...but I adjusted my attitude and readied myself to share...only to have my computer decide to, for no known reason, refuse to login to blogger!

So with space limited by a text post I will just be grateful for the man who made me laugh through all the stresses of the day.

In order to celebrate my daughter's birthday, I finally made myself the bracelet I have been planning for months. I love it.

Even my husband said he wished it wasn't just a "girlie" think because he loves it so much. The photo's don't do it justice...is that vain? Because really it is so pretty. If it had been a gift I would have cried upon opening it.

I am now offering these same types of "Memory Bracelets" in my Etsy shop...fully customizable.

What is it with me getting ill every time I do a month-long-blog-a-thon? This month I only had to think about it and a cold crept up on me.

It's quiet in the house now, everyone is asleep, and I have a list of 1 million things I should be doing right now, but it seems like so much better an idea to steal a few minutes to write. I don't even have a great philosophical point to make. I just miss being in this place. Writing and hearing from God. Sharing my heart and connecting with...um...anyone who might be reading. I think most of my blog readers might be friends I already know, but I like to imagine that there are a few people who stop by to share a cup of coffee now and again that I might not ever know of. So, this blog is for you I guess. Welcome.

This time of year is so special to me as the air turns colder and christmas smells begin to fill the air. Today I wanted to but every autumn decoration in the craft store. I resisted and didn't buy anything. This is a season that my daughters were born in, that my husband and I met and fell in love in, that baking and sweaters abound. A season for cute boots and good memories.

As much as I say I love summer most, I'm pretty sure I have an affection for autumn that is special and set apart.

Soon it will be popcorn and hot cocoa to celebrate rainy days, and my oven will be going almost non-stop to warm up my house and to feed happy children.

This weather reminds me of one of the best parts of homeschooling my children. They dance in the rain and snuggle under blankets while we talk about numbers and racism in early America...and we laugh. Most days I want to pull my hair out from frustration at some point, but I also have the greatest blessings of being a mom on those same days... the stolen kiss from a boy on the cusp of becoming a young man...the spark of awe that my daughter's eyes still have when she watches me...and the fly-by kisses from a ball of energy that calls himself my 'yiddle boy'. :)

Time is going too fast with these little ones. Before I know it it will always be quiet at night...

I've had this idea of a blog rolling around in my brain for a few months now and it still wont come out right., yet somehow with my dear sweet husband asleep on the couch and crickets chirping outside. The noisy quiet of night and a cool late summer/early autumn breeze blowing through I figured I'd try.

If you read my other blog you will have seen that I took a much unexpected and God ordained trip to to a lovely little town just outside of Toronto this summer. I wont recount what it meant to me here...but I will share a little more of the work God began there that I think He is still working on today.

I don't think I even noticed that He was working on a blessing beyond the obvious of forging a flesh and blood friendship with my dear sisters of the heart, until I boarded the plane that would bring me back to The States. I don't think I even saw the threads of it fully then, I just knew that something in my spirit changed in those four short days. That it was bigger than me. Bigger than my beloved friends.

I think, just maybe, it was a healing that was started. And it started in the strangest way...with a bucket of silent tears shed from a goodbye.

I have blogged about changes and hurts in the last few years that have left me feeling pretty battered and raw. I have blogged through my struggles with altered or changed relationships. I have silently carried some wounds for others that I really couldn't blog about. I have mourned outloud and in silent...and I think, stepping on that plane, sitting in my seat waiting to be delivered home into the arms of my very best friend, my husband, God reached out and took hold of my heart and assured me He noticed. Reminded me that He was about the work of healing, and that my time of rejoicing was on the horizon.

It has bafled me at times that the struggles of the last few years have, at times, seemed more to bear than the death of my sweet Eden...but I think that, somehow, it makes sense. This is more of that journey of faith. To see God when I want to just see suffering. To worship at His merciful feet simply because He is God...and through the surrender of my desires and of my pain and hurts...His blessings flow even sweeter.

I haven't loved every step of this journey but I belive in my heart of hearts that I carry blessings I might never have even seen without it.