I have decided it's time to buckle down and really lose the extra weight I have been carrying. It's a little harder now to decide this because I so don't want to be one of those women chained to the ever self hating cycle of weight loss and gain.

I don't want to be on a diet, obsessed with how many point are in a quarter cup of M&M's (4 by the way. Just one point shy of a slice of yummy pizza). I just want to be someone who is happy with whatever shape my body is in. Someone more concerned with my inner core than the outer package and how it weighs me down. I just want to make good food choices and let my body take it's natural shape...

But I haven't been making good choices and so much of that *is* a reflection of my inner core. Of rebellion. Of grief. Of busyness. Of bad planning. Of time not well spent... so I am going to try and use the outer tools to help me gain perspective on the inner me.

And I don't want to. I really am thinking I would like a break from all the refinement...until I get alone with my Jesus and realize I see him clearer everyday. That when I am refined I am more accurately able to reflect his image to others. So I am going to welcome the process and allow God to pick me up when I fall down instead of just lying there in the dirt.

I'm going to take care of this person God loves so very much as an offering to Him. I'm going to let Him show me true beauty. I am going to shed the pounds of baggage I know I still carry.