11 years ago when my husband and I made the choice to have children, we knew that raising children on one salary, a teacher's salary no less, was going to require some budgeting.

We haven't always been good at that, nor has it always been pleasant. We adjusted from bi-weekly paychecks to once a month pay check. Just one. We have struggled and we have prospered at different times.

Added into all the creative budgeting are our beautiful summers. Time to recharge and reconnect after an overly full academic year. Time to enjoy the California sunshine. Two months free of papers to grade, lessons to plan, and...well...pay.

People tend to shudder when they realize my husband draw no check in the summer, and truth be told I have more than once myself.

We have tried different versions of budgets, and many have failed miserably. My husband has often worked during the summers to bridge the monetary gap, but that option isn't always available and rarely reliable.

God has done a lot in me in this area. Finances seemed to be my biggest area of struggle. The place I am the weakest. I feel such a burden to "do the right thing" that I often wrestle ultimate control right out of the hands of the Maker of the Universe.

I mean, it's one thing to ask God for healing or patience but money seems so immediate. so essential. I have babies to feed. I have a home to run. I need money to do that. So I ask God to provide, to teach me to see His plan and to wait on His provision...and then the cupboards appear to go bare and I panic and start to plan and crunch numbers again.

Clearly this is an area where I need to be proactive yet my heart and faith need to not be bound by fear.

It is subtle. In a way indefinable. Yet I know there is a change in me...and I see that change reflected in my bank statements as well. My spiritual change has some obvious physical results.