At the end of a long, yet nice day, I really enjoy sitting at my desk and clearing my mind, waiting for God to speak while I blog. I love the ritual of it. My life doesn't have a lot of ritual, but this is one of my favorites...
So now here I am and it's hard to connect to it as I lay on my couch with my laptop. It's just not the same. But, change can be good even if you never learn to like it so I am going to dive in again today and wait for God to meet me again.
Sometimes I feel like refinement just hurts, or can't God give it a rest already, and then days like today happen. I look at days like today in comparison to where my heart was only a month ago and I can actually see Him changing me. I can myself reflecting more of who He wants me to be and I beam. Like a child who see's the mark on a growth chart that is just a bit above where it once was.
Where I had a chance to be hurt I chose to hurt for someone else and to continue to see my value to God. Where I stand a little straighter and the pride is not human but in knowing my inherent value, even if God and I are the only ones who see it...it's an amazing place to be.
I have spent so many years second guessing and wondering if I had any value, constantly pricked and bleeding when I was told of it was hinted that my value was less...so to finally see evidence of myself standing in tis place was wonderful.