It seems funny to me that, at nearly 33 years old, it's hard to know how to take a compliment. I mean, shouldn't I be able to just say "Thank You" and take it in and know I am good at something? Why do I feel like that makes me prideful, like I have to apologize for thinking I've done well?

It's so much easier to play the tapes in my head that tell me I am less. That I am not any of the special things that God has created. That my gifts are somehow less valuable, less special. Just less. Easier to tell myself my impact is small and meaningless.

This is one of my fears, and one I've only recently realized I still carry. That I will live my life and not make an impact. That I will live and die and when I am gone the world will be no different for me having been here.

When I was a child I wanted to be a star. Huge Academy Award winning actress. I wanted everyone to know my name. Even then, I wanted to matter.

The reality is I will probably never win an Oscar. I will continue to be a stay-at-home mom to my children and a wife to my husband. I will continue to serve God. The world will probably never know much about a Southern California girl named Alexis. But my family will know me, my friends, my church they will know me.

It is my goal to be someone who's life points people to God. That even after I am standing before Him, face to face, Eden in my arms again, my life will still be glorifying Him. This is what it is to truly matter. What it is to make a lasting impact.

The world may never know my name, but My God already does.
2 Responses
  1. Cassi Says:

    I used to get pen and paper out at the end of a movie and write down the casting directors names... thinking that if I knew them - somehow I would be "discovered" by one...

  2. staceelianna Says:

    oprah knows who you are. because you write to her everyday. =] and i know of lots of people who will forever be impacted by the amazing person you are and continue to be.