When everyone was posting glorious New Year posts I kept telling myself I'd wait until I really had time to reflect and write...that time never came..until now.

While I find so much comfort and peace, sitting at my desk writing and listening to God speak, I am realizing it get's harder and harder to make the time with so many people and things vying for my attention all the time. If I had a laptop I steal off to Starbucks to write, but laptop for me, so I steal the moments when they come.

Tonight I am making the moment a priority.

I have been going through a lot of inner changes and growth over the last several months, brought on by a lot of upheaval in the past few years. It took a good many months to get to a place where I was able to find enough of a foothold to finally start standing just a bit more steadily in the midst of it all.

With God as sherherd and good friends by my side, I finally feel righted again. Not perfect. Not fully healed...but ready to stand a little more steady and to keep standing.

Will I still stumble and have bad days? I'm sure. Do I feel far better equiped to face them? you bet.

One of the things I have set out to challenge myself with, and to be honest I think God has put it in my heart and mind, is something called The Day Zero Project. In short a personal (and now very public) challenge to come up with a list of 101 things to achieve in just 1001 days.

The first time I heard about it the idea sounded interesting but I dismissed it out of hand. I'd never accomplish 101 things about me. How sad. The very idea of having 101 dreams and goals felt beyond me.

Wouldn't you know though, the list kept coming up. I kept hearing about it and I kept thinking about it. I casually laughed it off as impossible for myself in discussion with a friend..."I'll never even get around to starting a list" hahaha. She just said "Nope, with that attitude you never will."

It stung.

That was the message God had been trying to get through. This was not the first time I heard it. It was hard to hear every time. I never imagined myself as someone who could dream, turns out I can dream impossible things for everyone else and I can expect God to move on their behalf...but when it comes to my dreams...I can't even figure out what they are most of the time.

In my bible study through the book of Luke these last few months I have been moved to tears several times over the relational person that God is. That when Jesus walked on this earth it was realtional and personal. He took great care in caring for the whole person...dreams and all.

So here I was with a blank page and the idea of 101 seemed so big. It still does really. I also wanted to try to hear God. I didn't want a whole list devoted to getting and doing...but to being more like Jesus and more aware of who He made me to be. I want my list to glorify him first, while fulfilling something in me.

So, I haven't officially started my Day Zero because my list isn't even halfway done. I'm close and just looking at it makes me love God even more, knowing he has put dreams in my heart and given me this amazing chance to find them.
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