In looking through some old rough drafts on my blog and found this in a post that never got finished :

Every single morning that I consent to get out of bed and live my life is a step I take in faith. A step I take in the true hope and belief that my God, my Father, my Abba will meet with me, strengthen me, and carry me. I understand why people throw in the towel after something difficult. Why they let the darkness win. It takes a lot to keep going and the world is rarely ready to slow down and meet my pace. There are days that just staying in bed looks like a pretty good plan. If I did that though, if I just stayed in bed I'd miss everything that matters. So I say to God that I will serve him and honor him by living.

Wow.

It amazes me how quickly and completely life can change in a matter of weeks or months. I remember feeling this. Being overwhelmed by it. Nearly being suffocated by it...

And now? While this day, in and of itself, hasn't really been terrific and has had it's own upsets that led to a pretty decent temper tantrum, I am in a wholly different place.

In embracing what God has to offer, in looking to Him to guide each step or carry me when I just couldn't walk anymore, I have seen more of Him. Of His beauty, grace, and strength.

I have seen the gift of friendships, old and new.Of helping lead someone nearer a relationship with God. Of living my faith, and living who God created me to be, out loud.

I can even say I am grateful for the struggle, though I hope it lets up soon.